Acceptance, self esteem, confidence, understanding, and peace of mind. All are sought after qualities, but can we achieve them? The road to discovery is challenging, and this is why many of us settle for the “fake” version of these qualities.
So, one can find “fake” self confidence and settle for it. When we have fake self confidence, we go overboard by thinking we cannot go wrong. Then we become very tough on ourselves when we fail to achieve objective. If someone is tough on self in a negative way, that results in low self esteem. Fake self confidence results in denying fault in self and blaming mistakes on others.
Same applies to fake self esteem. True self esteem results from accepting oneself. Acceptance means being merciful towards self. Allowing self to “be” true, instead of wearing masks to pretend to be someone else.
Acceptance results in true love. But love also can be fake. Fake love is negative. It is based on hiding reality and trying to cling to something that does not exist. For example, fake self love results in putting self above others, greed, and all sorts of narcissistic behavior.
To feel true love, one needs to be accepting of self and others. Accepting means clarity, accountability, and understanding. Understanding self means understanding strengths, shortfalls, ambitions, challenges, temptations, etc. Just Understanding. Neither exalting nor demeaning self or others.
Understanding is important, but it is not easy. It takes a lot of objectivity and maturity to observe ones actions carefully to reach understanding. Sometimes we are not willing to be.
Once understanding and accountability are there, clarity results, leading to tranquility and real confidence. This is the confidence one needs to aspire to, not the confidence based on fake belief that one is better than others or does not err. Fake confidence leads to disappointments, stress, and many other problems. Real self confidence and high self esteem are the result of accepting oneself.
Even acceptance can be fake, if it is mistaken for complacency. Real acceptance is the beginning of improvement, based on understanding, and that is the best way of improving, because it builds on clarity.
The oasis is here. Those who believe they found it tell us it is closer than we think. Maybe we just need to stop looking and just “be”.