“Difficult” is in the eye of the beholder!

Difficult people are out there, and we are part of them.  People are difficult the most when we do not understand them; their background, needs, motives, and behaviour.  Once we are clear on what makes a difficult person, they become much less difficult.  This does not make us necessarily accept them, but it helps us deal with them in a way that helps us maintain our sanity and mental health.

Part of working as a consultant is to deal with many people, including customers, employees of customers, your team, your company owner, and everybody else.  This makes it a must to dedicate time to understand people.  After more than twenty years of consulting I cannot say that I understand it all now when it comes to dealing with people.  However, I have been seeking learning in this area all through my career.  The more I learn the more I am amazed and intrigued by the richness of the human experience.  There is so much more to learn and more great discoveries to be made about ourselves, others, and the intricate and mystical relationship between us and the whole universe.

Come along with me on this journey of discovery on how to deal with difficult people and help me learn more.

How to deal with a boss who thinks she is too smart for you!

If you have to deal with a boss who thinks she is too smart for you, at least it would be good to know their weakness to use it to protect yourself.

Some manipulators think they are smarter than everybody and they can fool all with their ploys.  It is true many will be fooled but many also will not.  The boss thinks no one is up to his ploys, and those who hate him hate him because he is a great guy and they are jealous.

I know this sounds pitiful but if you know a manipulator you know what I mean exactly.

So how can you use this against them? let them think they got you fooled.  that does not mean that you let them hurt you, but pretend that you do not see their tricks and that they fooled you.  they put down their guard and now you can protect yourself by playing innocent and oblivious.

Here is an example.  Let us say that she repeatedly is trying to have you work on the weekends and do some of her work for her, by saying that it is so easy and won’t take you a minute.  She might even make you feel guilty thats he is loaded with work and she needs this for her boss so importantly and she will be in trouble if you do not help her.  You know better.  Because you know all she is trying to do is to get you to do her work for her and you know her overworking you is the norm not the exception.

So, what you need to do is to show her empathy.  Feel with her.  Tell her you appreciate what she is going through, but give her a reason why you cannot help and it has to be true.  Do not lie, but be clear that you have something important to attend to.  For example, you are having neck pains which requires rest over the weekend.  (If you do not have neck pains, then do not lie, and pick something else.) Tell her you promised your kids to take them somewhere this weekend and you do not want to weasel out of it because they will be angry with you.

Here is another tip for you.  choose an excuse that she herself would use.  For example, if her kids are on her case for staying at work too long, use something related to that.  If she has a back ache or a neck ache that prevents her from working, use that.  Again, do not lie, but try to use something that she can relate to.  And believe me the only thing they can relate to is somthing they are going through.  They cannot relate to something from your perspective.  It has to be from their perspective.

Since she thinks you are sincere and that you did not catch her plot, and she feels that she herself can relate to the excuse, you will get off the hook without her using too much vengeance or guilt trips on you.

Try it and enjoy it 🙂