Comments for How to Deal with Difficult People

Comment on INFJs - Surviving a Toxic Work Environment by please Iam anon

please Iam anon — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 01:16:33 +0000

Please write how these people also fall into CON artist and prey on financials,emotions,sexual . I have seen how also they pin “group” of people against each other. I really had experienced this,it was amazing..like a nightmare..
i even rescued one lady from huge so called investment,and sexually he primed her ,it was methodical. i never got
conned,I was too busy studying..this perp,but i got very very hurt,and became anorexic. btw this person is over 40.

Comment on Games Abusers Play on You – Part 1 by ammarmango

ammarmango — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:47:12 +0000

Dee,
in a business situation, it is not that it is either you are right or they are. I would be careful when many give you the same input. Especially people who are trustworthy or independent. listen and objectively check your behavior. In most business cases, there is truth on both sides. At the end, in an uncomfortable workplace, one either fixes the problem, moves on, or stays under pressure. I think I would weight my options in the same order I put them above: start with trying to fix, if unable then move on, if unable you have no choice but to endure, which I would really not recommend. but if you have to stick around, Find ways to vent your fears, anger, and sadness outside work. I wish you well.

Comment on Games Abusers Play on You – Part 1 by ammarmango

ammarmango — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:41:03 +0000

Deidre
Thank you for writing.
short answer is Yes. If manipulators are not stopped, they will continue the destructive behavior. However, you have to ask them to stop doing this to you (or family) not become their psychiatrist and tell them to stop being manipulators. That might not be feasible.
Most of us dread confrontation, but it is what helps us grow past these difficult people. In a way, these manipulators are stuck and unable to grow as human beings because of some problem. So, they manipulate and abuse to have others stuck with them in that point. As they say Misery loves company. So, you have to move on and not get stuck with them. This happens by either avoiding these abusers altogether, or if not possible, to confront and stop the abuse.
As far as kids, they need a clear and strong model from us of being able to say “stop” and walk away when someone is hurting them. Does this answer your question?

Comment on Games Abusers Play on You – Part 1 by Dee

Dee — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:35:00 +0000

Part 2, I am dealing with one of these CDM’s who was successful the first time and I left the workplace because of the behaviour which was abuse followed by blame and silent treatment. I am now on the second round of silent treatment which has lasted 4 months. Just recently this abusive behaviour has spread to another worker and that person has now started witholding resources I need to do my work, playing mind games and called me abusive and unfit to be around our clients. This accusation came as a result of me notifying a potential physical risk that could impact myself and service users, and my colleague absolutely spacked out on me and refused to allow me to phone our supervisor to report the original critical incident to do with worker and client duty of care. All attempts to discuss rationally the way she spoke and has now continued to speak to me, ie disrespectfully and judgmentally and interpretaively, meets with a counter criticism, judgment and telling me to grow up. Ive tried several times when she is in a good happy mood but the reaction is still the same. Now she has started lying and refusing to cooperate at work, and our role requires cooperation. The management dont seem brave or courageous enough to set some clear ground rules and consequences for abusive actions to others, and the formal grievance I finally lodged has been 4 months in process and I am getting blamed by coworkers for what I did to the worker. (This in spite of her putting in a grievance against me). How can I firmly say I am not willing to have this behaviour and be beleved. I know a butcher who would not let customers treat his staff badly, so why cant community service managers and supervisors do the same. Is it the psychologising of peoples actions that means we have to endure their crazy behaviour? I am blamed and projected upon for such a range of far fetched impossible attributions. Thanks for the chance to out this craziness.

Comment on Games Abusers Play on You – Part 1 by Deidre

Deidre — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:20:56 +0000

I appreciate the way you are writing about these manipulations, I struggle with the seemingly opposite strategies of not reacting or being affected and standing up to the person. I am often told to ‘forgive’ and ‘let go’ however, does this passive behaviour collude with the person so they continue more of the destructive behaviour. For eg if my family members or youngsters were treated badly, I would want to intervene as I think we have a job as social people to socialise each other into respectful behaviours.

Comment on Difficult People Teach us about ourselves by ammarmango

ammarmango — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 08:15:03 +0000

Thank you for your kind feedback. I do not know if I heard it a hundred times before, but I love hearing it from you. Thank you so much.

Comment on Difficult People Teach us about ourselves by sm

sm — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 05:33:14 +0000

You might have heard this a 100 times, but i will like to reiterate, that your articles give life to many who come looking for advise. Simply Superb!Thanks… keep posting!!

Comment on Difficult People Teach us about ourselves by soniabellani

soniabellani — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:41:24 +0000

Reblogged this on My Blog.

Comment on Hello world! by Mr WordPress

Mr WordPress — Fri, 25 May 2012 11:23:41 +0000

Hi, this is a comment.
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