Owned!

If and when what people do or say affect you mentally and emotionally, you are owned.  So, under that definition most of the people are owned.  However, as in everything else in the world, it is relative.  It is not completely owned or not owned but shades of the two.

So, who owns you? a father who can never be satisfied? a boss who keeps making you feel inferior? a husband who puts you down all the time?  there is no shame in that on you as a victim, and there is no shame in being a victim.  But it is a pitty if we accept the victim role and let the offenders get the best of us.

Your goal should not be to completely free yourself from being owned by anyone.  disappointment will follow if this is your strategy.  instead, start with looking at who has most negative effect on you in a consistent fashion? try to understand what behavior and in what context does it bother you.  first, free yourself from the wrong assumptions you have about how what this person does reflects on you.  Then, look at your options on how to deal with this person or situation, that is if you want to deal with it at all.  People who act negatively towards you should be avoided, at least until you learn how to deal with these negative feelings, if not forever.  of course sometimes we cannot.  There are people we have to deal with even though they are negative with us.  At least try to keep these people in your lives to a minimum.

There are two types of techniques one needs to deal with being owned.  The first type prevent you from being owned by anybody by building your self esteem and self image.  The other type help you deal with the feelings that arise from being under the spell of the negative person.

The first type can be a sports activity, like walking, running, art, writing, etc.  Make sure it is something you enjoy and make you feel good about yourself.  It can also be building faith and prayer.  The second type include things you can do after you feel bad from the interaction with a negative person.  These include prayer, which is very useful as a preventive and remeidal action.  Also there is meditation.  Very useful but requires patience and practice.  Breathing exercises like pranayama, or just breathing deeply and comfortably and focusing on breath.

Remember, sometimes, despite your best effort someone will get the best of you and make you angry, afraid, or sad.  It happens.  The best thing is to accept it, and move on from there.

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